Who am I? (World Alzheimer’s Day)

On the occasion of WORLD ALZHEIMER DAY I chose to share with you this incident that has changed my life forever.

I didn’t even know there was a medical term associated with it until I experienced it with my daddy. The man who taught me to walk, talk, read, write, story telling, knitting, badminton, chess, carom board, card games like fish, rummy, puploo, sweep, bluff, cycling and the list goes on. In short he taught me how to survive in this world had suffered from Alzheimer for a couple of years until we lost him forever. The tragedy was I had no clue he was going through this until he disappeared from our life for a day. It was the most heart wrenching day of my life. He went shopping with my husband and just before reaching home got down from the car saying he would walk his way home as he wanted to get some samsosas for all of us at home. Since out home wasn’t very far my husband left him in the market. It was almost an hour and daddy didn’t come home. We waited for him desperately thinking he must me on his way walking slowly. Never once the thought cross our mind that he might lost his way home. By four in the evening when he didn’t return I was panic stricken. It was almost four hours now. We didn’t waste time and went to file a missing complaint at the police station. They refused saying we had to wait for twenty four hours. Tears never stopped rolling down my eyes as I looked for my daddy on the street. In our neighbourhood everybody had seen him walking but nobody knows which way he went. After buying samosas for us he walked down the lane to our house but seems like he took a wrong turn and lost the path. We spent that awful night in the house without him . It was so distressful for my whole family. Early morning the next day we went to the police station and lodged a missing complaint and even ran a missing person advertisement on tv channel but we didn’t get any clue. The entire day we spent running from hospital to hospital, bus station, railway station looking for him. We were new in the city and didn’t know anyone. So emotionally, mentally, physically we were drained completely. God was our only solace. I was praying for him every second.

He was seventy four years old and was recovering from a long illness when this happened. His treatment left him short tempered and very moody. We lived in a rented two bedroom house and he didn’t like it. I was sure he was punishing us for it. I just wanted to meet him and ask him why he was doing this to us. I had no clue that his brain was degenerating every single day little by little. He was losing his memory every day. He was losing himself with each passing day and this was like a slow poison.

Now as I look back in time I find traces of his memory loss since the last couple of years. He forgot his apartment number. He forgot to wear his shoes when going out. He always took time to recognize us. He tried hard to remember what he had eaten in his meals. He was always lost in his own thoughts. He forgot to write, to read, to ask for food, to ask for help. He became a child, a toddler dependent on his care giver, me.

However, at that time I overlooked these incidents. I was hell worried for him and wondered where he had disappeared without telling me a thing. Later by the evening I got a call on his mobile. I thought one of his friend must be calling and I was in no mood to entertain the man on the other end of the call. But the man surprised me saying that Daddy was with him and he was safe. He was calling from an N.G.O, Badte Kadam who help the elderly and is very actively involved in social causes in the city. When one of the police man saw Daddy, a miserable old man on the street, he called them up thinking another family had abandoned their old man on street. Badte Kadam brought daddy to their ashram and treated him well. They had no means to reach us as Daddy wasn’t able to give our address. He wasn’t even carrying any identity card with him nor his mobile to give them any clue. He remembered only my name. Luckily my dad was carrying his ATM card and a ATM slip while shopping with my husband the previous day. With the help of these two they traced his phone number and called . Luckily the mobile was with me at that time. We rushed in to the ashram to meet him and it was a teary reunion. I took him to doctor the next day as I found bruises in his arms and legs. There I was advised to meet a neurologist who informed me my daddy was suffering from Alzheimer and this incident had triggered it towards the worse.

Alzheimer stage one

Here are the five stages of Alzheimer –

There are five stages associated with Alzheimer’s disease: preclinical Alzheimer’s disease, mild cognitive impairment due to Alzheimer’s disease, mild dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease, moderate dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease and severe dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease

We had no knowledge of the disease in the first three stages though we got the clues. And the incident pushed my daddy’s condition to the last phase where we lost him completely. In a few months he was bed ridden and then left us for the heavenly abode. Even while he was suffering he was teaching me. My best teacher in the world. Since his demise I became more inclined towards helping the seniors. Understanding their needs and Alzheimer.

Alzheimer stage five

It’s not easy to handle an Alzheimer patient. I salute those who do.

I just request my readers that if you happen to come across any old person wandering alone in the street please stop by to talk to him. Maybe he had lost his way home and doesn’t even know how to ask for help.

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Lockdown: What has changed #2

Hmm

So the list is endless. However, I will stick to the positive side of it.

Kids are the ones who are facing the consequences the most. They aren’t clear about what’s going on and why. Yet in their own way, they are trying to keep themselves busy. T.V, mobile, games whatnot. However, there is another side of it too if the elders can guide them properly. Today’s kids are a fast learner and they know how to keep pace with other kids. If one kid is doing something by default the other will follow.

As I also run a kids club, a have a small WhatsApp group of these kids. Since day one I had been asking them to show me some of their hidden talents but for some reasons no one was interested. Then I started with Gayejakyarona…the musical venture wherein every day during lockdown people from different areas are sharing their audio clips with me which I am compiling on my youtube channel. There is no hard and fast rule for sending. Share what you like to sing, with or without music it’s up to you. It will be shared.

So while I was busy with my musical venture (Now its #gayejakyarona – #26) one of the kids shared his guitar talent on the WhatsApp group. ANd the fever caught up. Next someone shared the keyboard talent. Then songs and dances. Even mimicry.

I was amazed by their hidden talents. It would be a blunder if I don’t showcase it to you all. I have picked up some of the paintings from the group. They are in the age group of 7 to 14 years of age. I hope you too get inspired by it and share it with kids.

There is positive in every situation.

All we have to do is seek it out.

 

 

Our children during lockdown

I am an old school woman. So I don’t understand all these apps and their application. And frankly, I don’t even want to stress myself out for the same. Putting children to online classes and making them study online during lockdown is something I am unable to sink in.  When they haven’t got the opportunity to purchase their books or go to their new class how can one feel the new session. At least I feel the need for it.

I have only one logic – when the world has shut down who are you trying to equip to be a winner. I stand to my words. Today’s education is not nurturing human but robots to be a winner in the race. But what is this race all about when there is no finish line?

In my growing years, I lived in places that were turbulently affected due to Maoist, communal riots, floods. So curfew, lockdown isn’t new for me. We have been trained to live in limited resources. And it was an era of the 80s that I am talking about. So no phone, tv. These came into our lives in later years but then also the services weren’t available as it is now. Right on the fingertips.

I have never seen my parents or my teachers run after my life to complete the syllabus during these emergencies. It was more of an empathetic interaction during those days which I find lacking nowadays.

Education should be fun and not a burden both for students and teachers. It should target into making humans, not technicians and C.E.Os. Because life is not only about them. It’s about living. And this we are already facing. So why we are repeating the same.

During this crisis let the kids be on their own. Like adults, they don’t have access to their friends on social media and going out is out of the question. So let them be as they please. There will be a time once this lockdown is over when we can discipline them again for studies. For now, let them be THEM.

If a child is bored at home, they can be encouraged to do creative work, get him do house chores or they can read storybooks or maybe see and learn stuff on the internet. But studies shouldn’t be a compulsion just to finish syllabus.

I would never study during the lockdown. COME ON I NEED MY SPACE

 

 

 

 

Letter Z: Zest (AtoZ2019)

I am doing #atozchallenge2019 on my blog. Everyday in the month of April In will be doing the letters from AtoZ with the with small scenes from my WIP The Sibling Saga. Hope you enjoy with Misry and her sister Moon.

“Ma are we going somewhere? Why are you packing our things?” Misry asked after returning from school.

“Yes dear. We are moving to Assam in a week’s time. Your daddy has now been posted there,” informed Madhavi.

“Are Honey and Boney too coming along? I mean has uncle been posted there too?” Misry was concerned.

“Nope dear. It’s your father’s promotion posting.”

“Wow! Daddy has been promoted! So now he can stay at home with us, right?”

“I wish so dear but I don’t know. You should ask Daddy.”

“Where is he?”

“He shall be back from office in an hour or so.”

“Okay. I shall ask him then.”

Anurag came home at lunch and was very touched by Misry’s question. He knew his family missed him very much but then he knew he can’t do anything about it.

“Yes dear we are leaving by Monday. And hopefully we are going to stay together this time,” replied Anurag to his curious daughters.

A farewell party was organized for them in the Officers Mess. All the officers’ families in the campus came to congratulate Anurag. The officers also made him sit on a chair and carried him out of the hall on their shoulder singing the famous song-

For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow

For he’s a jolly good fellow (pause), and so say all of us

And so say all of us, and so say all of us

For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow

For he’s a jolly good fellow (pause), and so say all of us!

 

It was a ritual they always did for the parting officer.

Moon and Misry along with the other children followed the men singing the song behind. They were too small to understand what was going on. But their excitement never died down. A new place, new friends, new school had always excited them. And they were more excited when they came to know that Anurag was going to take charge in Kaziranga, the famous national park home to one horned rhino.

However, at heart she knew she would be missing her besties Honey and Boney. Honey was in tears to part with his best friend.

****

And with this we have come to an end of the AtoZ2019 challenge.

This is time to thank you all. Without your presence and followups my challenge would not have been complete. It was also very wonderful to read your blogs. Variety is the spice of life. Glad to have found you guys. Thanks.